The Talker

Cinemas as the should be by The Oatmeal. Click to see full image!

So, I just got home from seeing Django Unchained with my Dad. I sat down to start writing a little bit about it, but something about the whole experience has left me distracted. It was not the film itself or it’s subject matter. No. It was something much more relatable than that. You don’t have to have ever seen a Tarantino film to understand where my hate is stemming from. This feeling of rage is all thanks to the scum of the cinema going experience known as, ‘The Talker’.

The Talker can be any age, any gender and can be found in just about any movie screening. While filmmakers can spend hundreds of hours and millions of dollars on crafting a film to illicit an intended response to a viewer, they will never have the power to select exactly who will view this film.

If you find yourself in a cinema with a Talker, you are doomed. It is impossible to reason with someone who is willing to spend $11.80 to NOT watch a film. It is difficult to converse with people who hold this level of fiscal irresponsibility. Even polite requests are seen as foreign concepts that should be shouted at until they go away.

I know it may seem like I am making a big deal out of something that could simply be ignored, but it means much more than missing a few lines in a film due to distraction. When you are paying your price of admission to see a film, you a paying to sit down and watch something that a cast of hundreds have worked to complete. If you are going to pay to see something, treat it as if the filmmakers are in the room with you. If you don’t like what you are seeing feel free to walk out. But please, don’t try to actively ruin the experience for those who are enjoying every second of it.

Now if you'll excuse me, I’m off to practice harmonica at the library.